Promoting skepticism and reason without boundaries or sacred cows.
Published on August 4, 2006 By Ionolast In Humor
When a child is convicted of a serious crime (such as hitting his father on the head with a hammer while the father sleeps on the
couch), the child has to go to one of several special prisons.

A typical day consists of working in the machine shop where they make personalized toy license plates.

The youngest ones wear diapers of different colors to designate which gang they're in. They sit in their playpens and clang their bottles
against the bars and shout, "Lousy screws!"

A lot of wheeling and dealing goes on in those places, such as trading cartons of candy cigarettes for Ritalin.

In the rec room, they can watch videos of "Sesame Street" and "Mr. Rogers."

A lot of the kids have stick-on tattoos, many of which are the word "Mother."

The guards have to be on the lookout for food fights and for any kids shooting spitballs.

As in adult prisons, some of the guards are on the take, and for the right price a teenager can get a conjugal visit from his
schoolteacher.

Advocates of prison reform say the kids are worse when they get out than when they went in, and they cite the example of Antonio "Buzzcut" Garcia, who after getting out at age 18, went on a shooting spree at a shopping mall with a Super Soaker. He had filled it with warm water, causing his victims to pee themselves. Authorities apprehended him by firing Silly String which wrapped around him, effectively binding him. He is now grounded and confined to his room.

How does society create such monsters? We may never really know.

Comments
on Aug 04, 2006
sounds like every prison I've ever been in.
on Aug 05, 2006

sounds like every prison I've ever been in.

on Aug 05, 2006
sounds like every prison I've ever been in.


You had it rough.
on Aug 05, 2006
I think they should all get the potty chair.
on Aug 05, 2006
I think they should all get the potty chair.


lol. Good one.